Already miss u

U'll be going for outstation, tomorrow.

Argh. Already miss u.

Marriage is a rollercoaster indeed.

We fight, we make up.

End of the day, we are still together. Apalah perkahwinan without pergaduhan kan. Difference is, I jot here. Not for anyone to read, tapi ini lah warna2 kehidupan i, which maybe lepas 10 tahun i baca balik, I will remember exactly how I am today.

Actually, i do love u. I really do.

xoxo

Once u lose me

Hey peeps.

Its Saturday, 8.30 pm.

Keadaan sekarang lapar. Tapi taknak makan. Harini takde buat apa, this morning I went to see my dad, then we had lunch dekat Bistro favourite I. Only the 2 of us. We talked, and somehow memang release my stress. Just like the good old days. My dad, very understanding. Bukan sejenis panas baran atau kaki maki. My dad always senang berbincang. Any problem, dia akan find the solution. Unlike someone I know, his approach will always maki first, don't talk. Lol. Im used to it, sampai I don't want to share anything anymore. My heart is numb from all the makian.

Aku pernah.

Sayang, adore, this person. Pernah.

But now it feels like too tired dah nak hadap. Sebab aku tak dibesarkan dengan makian dan carutan. A little bit of my dad's background, he was once a first class electrical engineering graduate dekat USA. Memang polite and pandai dari kecik. Even I can't even beat him in terms of academic, dari segi career, walaupun anak sepatutnya lebih hebat dari parents, sebab anak tu semua dicukupkan. But it's ok. I never regret anything.

Back to my story. Aku bukan merungut. Sometimes aku tak sure whether feelings aku ni valid ke tak. He thought he was never wrong. Tapi kenapa dengan hati aku? Sumpah demi Allah aku takde orang lain selain dia. Tapi hati aku kosong, as of now. Aku sedih tapi dia ignore everything that I have felt. Like it is not valid. I shouldn't have felt like this sebab bagi dia, dia dah provide everything. Materially, yes. Even sekarang when I look around, yes. He provide everything. Katil yang aku duduk, laptop yang aku guna, airpod yang aku dengar. 

Aku tak suka kena maki. Aku nak approach discussion. Bukan maki2 satu dunia dengar kau tak peduli pun apa aku rasa. Yang penting kau puas maki. Dah terlalu lama aku bertahan. Sekarang aku letih sampai takde air mata bila kena maki. Kau nak maki? Up to u. Im not listening anymore. In fact, slowly aku dah tak nak dengar apa2 dari kau.

Aku akan compare semua dengan masa silam kau sebab aku tau semua! Memang aku maafkan. Tapi untuk lupakan, jauh sangat. Setiap kali ingat aku jadi benci. Aku takkan makan Zanmai, takkan tengok wayang, takkan ambil gambar kau and share dekat kau sebab kau pernah create memory dengan orang lain. Memori aku.

Ini keadaan aku walaupun selepas 3 tahun.

Aku mungkin gila perhatian. Tapi kau akan bagi perhatian kalau kau nak. Bukan sebab aku suruh.Aku sedih sebab part of aku masih sayang and ingat kau yang dulu. Sebelum dia.

Slow2 kau dah hilang aku. Kita dah hancur 3 tahun lepas,without kita realise. 

Aku sekarang kat tempat yang paling last dalam prioriti kau. Tapi aku tak kisah dah. Even kita satu family jalan malam dekat Genting finally dapat spent time, suddenly kawan kau ajak lepak, immediately kau agree and ask us to take grab going back to the hotel. Yes aku sangat terasa! Terasa tak penting. "Aku hantar family aku naik grab jap". Kawan kau pun tau je and say "family first bro, takyah lah join lepak." But u insist. Instead u said, "takpe, anak bini aku dah puas main kat sini siang tadi". I heard everything. And deep down start comparing. If kau keluar dengan sial tu, kau takkan suruh dia balik naik grab kan? Even grab pun aku yang booking sendiri. Bodoh kan.

Aku diam. Aku tak highlight pun. Its ok.

Tapi harini memang dah tahap boiling point. Every weekdays kau lepak, if tak lepak kau tidur awal. Fine. Aku sabar lagi. Weekend parents kau datang tidur kat rumah. Even parents datang pun kau pergi lepak? Wow Im amazed. Somehow aku question balik, panas ke rumah ni. Kalau tak nak tengok muka aku cakap. Kau taknak, aku sejuta kali taknak. Kau tahu bukan aku yang nak teruskan relationship ni. Kau pretend like u care, but u are not, man. Aku boleh entertain parent kau without kau kisah pun. Yang penting is geng lepak kau yang dah hancurkan holiday aku tu. 

Harini kau lebih bro. Kau teman bapak kau pergi servis kereta and kau expect weekend aku dengan anak2 duduk rumah and cannot go anywhere sebab mak kau ada kat rumah? Jap aku rephrase. Kau and bapak kau tinggal mak kau kat rumah aku sebab nak pergi healing? Kamonla. Bro kau lepak hari2 kot. Semalam aku entertain, harini pun nak entertain ke macam mana? Habis aku? Bukan tak ikhlas tau. Tapi kalau lebih sangat, benda memang jadi tak ikhlas.

Adil kan untuk aku.

Aku pun ade parents. Aku pun nak jumpa parents aku. Bukan everyweek hadap benda sama. Kau boleh healing, tapi bila aku? Bodoh ke suruh aku balik rumah beli salad? ambik kau dekat bengkel? Sedangkan aku tengah jumpa abah aku. Kalau aku, kau suruh grab kan? kenapa kau tak boleh grab? Aku memang taknak ambik. Grab lah sana. Even suruh ambik dekat mrt pun kau suruh aku tunggu train, cakap nak pergi pun dah 40 minit. Just wow. At the first place, I dont even ask u to send me in the morning. Aku boleh je drive sendiri. Then petang kau suruh aku tunggu train? Sebab geng lepak? Well, now I know. Please eat your own medicine. Rasalah pahit ke tak.

Aku rasa valid untuk aku marah. Kau neglect aku. Lepas lepak balik 2-3 pagi kau expect aku nak entertain kau? sorry bro. not this time. Aku bukan semudah tu. Tak payah acah2 peluk aku sampai pagi.

Peluklah geng lepak kau. 

Aku rimas.

Faded

Hello dearies,

I don't even know why I am here tonight. Cuma perlukan ruang untuk meluah. Kadang2 nak bercerita dengan manusia, orang akan interpret dengan cara berbeza. Honestly, I just want to disappear from all these nonsense. 

Aku dah malas nak buat effort. Even bila rasa sakit, takde air mata pun untuk aku menangis. Sebab aku dah malas nak menangis. Rasa terlalu letih.

Anyway, we just got back from our short trip. All sponsored by company, macam biasa sebab trip ni is for team building and family day. Aku dah lama tinggalkan healthy breakfast etc, my bad. Lepas PKP, tak de dah effort nak cycling ke ape macam aku selalu buat dulu. Semua dah back tu macam masa zaman sebelum PKP. Somehow, PKP ni menyelamatkan rumah tangga aku masa tu. Kalau tak, Allah knows what will happen.

Alhamdulillah, even ekonomi meleset, kami berdua masih ada rezeki kerja, naik pangkat, naik gaji etc. Mungkin ada doa2 parents kami yang diangkat, sebab diri aku sendiri bukanlah baik mana untuk dapat all these blessings, aku rasa la.. hm..

Fast forward to now, aku rasa bangga dengan diri aku few years back, (read: masa muda), macam mana aku heal my own self after semua betrayal yang aku hadap dalam marriage aku. Reflecting back, aku rasa emotionally aku yang buat effort, meanwhile materially, dia yang banyak buat effort. Normal ke aku rasa, aku lagi prefer emotional efforts rather that semua material thingy yang dia provide dekat aku. Even dia tabur aku dengan macam2 benda, ada kalanya bila sedih / trigger, aku masih rasa aku nak pergi dari semua ni. Adakah aku manusia yang tak bersyukur?

Bukan aku tak maafkan, tapi aku tak pernah lupakan apa yang jadi. Yes, efforts kau mungkin aku butakan dengan apa yang jadi. Bila aku type sini, aku memang realise semua efforts kau tapi entahla kenapa dengan hati aku? Taburkan emas, handbag, random tudung duck yang kau beli tiba2, tapi kenapa hati aku rasa kosong? Tolonglah. Aku tawar hati ke? 

Cantik tapi bagi aku yelah, cantik jela. Even kau belikan untuk aku tapi aku tak de rasa sense of belonging pun. Bila baca balik apa yang aku type ni sumpah rasa macam tak bersyukur. Dia macam ni la, ada benda yang kau boleh tolerate, tapi bila berlaku berkali2, taburlah segunung emas pun dah takde erti.

Benda yang aku paling suka, cupcake, cake, benda manis2. Memang susah lah nak turun berat macam ni tapi ini lah sedikit bahagia yang paling ikhlas dalam hidup aku. 

But its okey, starting September aku cuba jot my journey to a healthy lifestyle dekat sini macam dulu hahah.. hopefully!

Aku beli Yoga mat rm18 kot dekat Kaison. Ni terpaling murah yang aku jumpa. At least if jadi tukun ke ape aku takde lah regret sangat. Mengantuk dah. Esok kerja. I'll end this now. Till then. Bye.

Snippet of the past few weeks

Hey there.. assalamualaikum.

As usual, when I write on this space, my husband already flew off for work. Exam in few days, tapi past few weeks I keep on berjimba je. How la.

Just to recap what happen during the past two weeks that my husband was around. We went for unplanned road trip to Pahang with the kids. Initially I nak pergi bawa diorang ke Kuala Gandah je. Manage to meet few elephants tapi smol2 one je. Suppose ada aktiviti mandikan gajah etc but sebab air sungai naik so cancel jela. Sebab suam2 kuku je experience tu, we decided to naik sikit head to Kuantan terus. Actually after Kuala Gandah, we stayed in a hotel at Temerloh. Had ikan patin etc then ingat nak cari makan dekat Kuantan. Sampai je Teluk Cempedak terus rasa amazednya ada Starbucks, Mcd, KFC, everything dekat sana and tempat tu so cantik. We end up terus booking a night stayed in Kuantan. 

My world. Captured with Ip13

Kuala Gandah Elephant Sanctuary

We were lucky to meet this 5 month baby elephant

Teluk Cempedak view yang buat we decide to stay for the night

Hello pinky beach

We had lunch at Restoran Mabiq. Ramai orang but quite efficient lah eventhough kena beratur juga nak masuk pun. We arrive on 12.30pm maybe orang baru nak ramai. Food taste good. I had pais ikan, eventhough i don't know what it is, turn out dia ikan patin tempoyak juga. I had it already dekat Temerloh and I had enough kot. Hari2 makan tempoyak pitamm..

We were lucky to secure a room eventhough it weekends. Masa lunch i scroll booking.com and luckily found this resort. Memang cantik. We ride ATV [RM50 for 30mins], ada pool, private beach, complementary breakfast semua, I had no complaint. Definitely I will come back again. There's little pub and restaurant dekat resort ni. We jalan pantai at night, then ada fireworks show, dekat beach. Memang lucky lah sebab kitorang tak tau pun ada benda ni. Dengan lagu2 best feeling sangat la kan. Maybe the ambience buat rasa best kot.

I cuti the whole week sebab annual leave I banyak lagi nak clear. Hehe.. Then balik KL jelah after Kuantan. Esoknya pergi swab test dekat Prince Court coz my husband nak work dah. Sebab alang2 keluar, we shoot to Genting Highlands pulak. Memang trip Pahang sangat la kalini. Tak naik atas. Just jalan dekat GHPO je. Husband alhamdulillah negative, clear nk pergi work.

We had desert dekat Godiva, husband I memang tau perangai I suka desert. Kalau I hilang tu either hilang dalam kedai kek atau kedai kopi. 😅 Both kids inherit trait I yang suka desert tu. Habislah. Manage to grab few handbags kat atas tu. I rasa murah kali ni maybe sebab Black Friday?? atau I memang lucky haha.. Perempuan atas ni dapat coklat dia dah happy dah. 

Owh before that! I ada trip with my family dekat Ipoh masa husband I off to work. Yelah nak tak nak we need to live je dalam covid ni kan. What we can do is try as much as we can to follow SOP. Jangan bersalam, jaga jarak, sanitise always, pakai mask. If dah kena what to do. But alhamdulillah, until now none of our family member get infected by covid. Future, we never know. Semua family members both sides dah vaccinated unless kids below 11 years old macam anak i memang tak lah. Hope Allah protects them always.

Both my parents, my nenek join this trip. Regardless la kena pakai wheelchair ke ape we all tolak je. My sisters, 4 out of 5 ada. In fact semua sibling I pun girls je takde boys haha.. If orang cakap I lemah lembut tu sebab belum pernah tengok I mengamuk jela kot. Ada satu story kelakar pasal nenek I but I keep it to myself jela hahaha.. I just nak create memories while they are still around. I pun tak tahu sampai bila I akan ada dekat sini. We never know. 

Looking back at our picktures, deep down I'm a proud sister and I nak congratulate my parents for raising us so well. My little sister doing specialist in opthalmologist, a med officer soon to be specialist dah. Another one is an engineer building maybe the tallest building in Malaysia, PNB118 and the youngest is doing her ACCA. Perempuan sesat semua orang dah besar suddenly dia lahir. 😂 We talked and chatted like we were still a kid. Especially when the husband is not around. My sister's husband now overseas to oversee construction project dengan Japan company. So of coz la dia pun single macam I haha.. My father cakap, tengoklah diorang ni even dah besar tapi cakap macam masa diorang budak2 dulu. Yeah.. miss that moment sebenarnya. Buat lawak bodoh, but now we are paying for the trip. Just bagitahu where u want to go, what u want to eat, we'll settle everything. Macam mana my parents settle everything for us masa kitorang kecik2 dulu. 

Hey Ipoh

Drooling

My all time fav Ah Cheng laksa

The best roti jala by Chef Nizam

Mee rebus Kuala Kangsar from cooked by my fren, Seri

Some random pictures of what I ate past few weeks haha. Anak I pun dah tahu perangai mak dia jangan makan lagi. Lemme feed the phone first! Lol! Sometimes when I tak amek gambar they'll ask me why I didn't take picture? Boleh makan dah ke ni? Hahahhahah... Sorry kids!!

This time around takde adegan baling barang, gaduh2 maki2.. Am I healed? Hahah.. We never know. But I tahu even how bad the situation is, I am loving him forever. He's back now, tapi hati manusia ni berbolak balik, Allah yang pegang. I'll be devastated but I know I will move on easily if it will ever happen again. For now, I just want to enjoy the moment, had him cuddle me when he's around, buying things that I want, bring me to road trip, kiss me randomly at night when I sleep. Cry when I cried. Trying so hard to jaga my hati. Always tarik kepala I to sleep at his ketiak omg! Hug me tight, make sure I'm covered dengan selimut. 

I don't know but I feel if I mengungkit lagi, macam I break his heart. I fikir banyak kali sebelum reply whatsapp or cakap. Sometimes I dah type, then I delete and type benda yang takkan trigger marah dia. Bila I dah type tu I lega coz I dah buat even tak send kat dia faham tak. Bila nak cakap pun I akan mengungkit dalam hati but then istighfar jap and cakap benda baik2 je la untuk dia dengar dengan telinga tu. At least ada improvement. Dulu I memang hembus je apa dalam hati I and the consequences memang real bad lah kan. Now let say if I teringat, I akan nangis je. I won't say anything. Esok dia fly, malam ni I akan masak untuk lunch dia. And I akan buat cookies favourite dia choc chip sea salt cookies. Actually favourite I, but tu macam signature cookies I la untuk dia haha.. Then final nights tu normally we will cuddle and check each other nangis ke tak. Lol. Lama dah tak rasa berat hati nak lepaskan. I don't know, hikmah after what happen ni, relationship kitorang makin berkualiti. Makin matang mungkin. Alhamdulillah.. Tapi hope dia tak lupa, even I sayang pun I can walk away anytime and forget everything if benda jadi lagi. Parents I tak ajar pula kalau kena pijak just stay.

Tapi like I said previously, I just want to enjoy the moment. I love my husband, love my family, my kids, my friends. I love them all. Insyaallah amin.

Bahagia itu....

Menulis lagi.. tunggu isya jap lagi around 8.09pm. Bila menulis balik kat sini, faham2 jelah, suami saya sudah balik bekerja. Jadinya, takde lagi sesi batal air sembahyang everytime after solat. Maka, boleh la saya simpan wudhuk untuk next solat. Hihi.. Bersaya pula. 😅

Salam takziah untuk semua yang terkesan dengan Covid19. Tak dapat bayangkan kalau aku yang diuji macam tu. Kehilangan ahli keluarga, pasangan atau anak2. Astaghfirullahalazim.. Hugs to all of u. Lama dah aku puasa social media. Takde nak upload apa2 sebab zaman sekarang ni bagi aku, bahagia tu biarla kita yang rasa sendiri. Takde apa nak dibuktikan pun dekat orang lain. Tak sampai hati nak upload kebahagiaan, sedangkan ada insan lain yang baru kehilangan. 

Tak sangka dah setahun berlalu sejak kes dulu. Hati aku mungkin dah semakin pulih. Aku rasa la.. tapi bila husband balik kerja tu, aku masih rasa sedih, risau jugak sikit2. Macam tu lah. Tapi mungkin keadaan dah sangat baik berbanding tahun lepas, masa ni. Dari kecik sejenis kuat merajuk, memang lama la masa untuk aku betul2 pulih. Husband aku pun, kesabaran dia memang banyak diuji selama setahun ni. Anytime aku boleh trigger, anytime aku boleh moody. 

Looking back through gambar2 yang aku ambik dalam phone gallery, banyak benda aku perlu bersyukur. Husband aku, on his side, aku nampak dia berusaha sangat nak pulihkan hati aku. Bagi semua benda yang aku nak sampai aku dah tak tahu apa je lagi yang kurang. 

Da masuk isya gais. 

Lapar la bila tengok gambar2 dalam gallery ni. Hm...

View rumah adik aku

Talking to the moon..........

Aku dekat tower 1, bila dapat amek gambar tiga2 ni align

Fav anak saye

Fav anak lelaki saye

Cendol ni the bomb dekat Melaka

Ramen asam pedas telur mayong.. Weird taste tapi sedap

Fav drink saye... Cham Iced!

Ini masa kita lepak kopitiam. Lempeng sambal bilis paling terbaik kat sini

Kan dah cakap anak saya suka fries

Makan kat qbistro mmg kena order mee goreng! telio!

Ok bye nak isya dulu sebelum menyuap makanan ke mulut anak2 saye hahahahah 😉

Love ft Marriage & Divorce

Just finished Ep15 Season 2 tadi. This episode mostly highlighted pasal Dr Yu Sin yang seems jealous ex-wife dia found someone maybe better than him. This ex-wife which is Pi Young for me memang tahu lah how to play her role really well. Orang boleh cakap, u boleh je endure the pain of being cheated and let it slide or hid it under the rugs then continue life as usual. Tapi, those yang merasa tu actually tahu apa yang dia patut buat. Betullah, time will tell whether decision yang u buat hari ni tu betul atau tak.

Sakit tu lagi perit especially bila both were in love with each other while still being married. Cheated on by the person that u trust the most is painful. Tapi perempuan ni, once move on then that's it. Mampu gelak jela at the end of the day. 

Anyways, pagi tadi Dato Azizul Hasni Awang menang perak acara Keirin Olimpik Tokyo 2020. Next Paris 2023 I'm sure he will get the gold. Sebak sangat tadi after the race he said that his father was sick at the hospital, he had to leave his family since 15 years old, leaving his wife and children at Australia to pursue his golden dreams. Anak2 everyday call tanya bila nak balik.  Inilah pengorbanan yang dia buat untuk Malaysia. Yang bestnya, wartawan just bagi tau satu secret dekat dia that his wife is pregnant no.3! Such a blessings. Alhamdulillah.. Lepasni dah boleh rehat, balik jumpa wife dan anak2. Tumpang bangga dan happy untuk Dato'.

Harini tak de apa sangat just duduk rumah macam biasa. Sunday is not really a fun day. Sambil siapkan report sambil tengok Olimpik. Husband macam biasa, pergi kebun dengan his father. 

My breakfast for today..

Fresh orange + collagen + aloe + kelulut honey

Buah naga 💗

Actually bila i amalkan collagen ni i macam rasa ada improvement on texture kulit i. Seems glowing and smooth haha.. ke i je rasa macam tu.. Rambut pun dah kurang gugur. So far so good. And aloe I akan add like 2 caps dalam breakfast drink i. Aloe ni setahu i untuk lawas. Yea, it works! Jadi perempuan macam ni lah. Always have to take care of yourself. I nak cantik pun untuk suami ya. 😇

Masalahnya bila everytime husband balik kebun akan bawa durian sekali kat rumah ni.. Haih, I memang pemakan durian tegar. So hard to resist! Kalau tak bawa balik ok je takde la nampak depan mata.

Bila ada kebun durian mestila kena tahu kan jenis2 durian yang ada dekat kebun tu. Husband I ni dia jenis tak kisah sangat. Tapi kalau i, memang selalu nak tahu jenis dia. Memang nampak sama tapi tak ye.. 

D99

D99 ni buah dia bulat, memang kalay tengok kenal sebab line tapak dengan pangsa dia tu jelas.

IOI

Kalau nak kenal IOI, buah dia warna hijau tua, duri rapat2. Bila biasa tengok dan compare memang senang je kenal sebenarnya. Isi dia lembut, sedap sangat. Bak kata kawan i, macam mentega 😅

Semalam husband I belikan maid baru. Philip AF. Actually tak intended nak beli pun. Cuma AF dalam rumah ni adik I dah bawa pindah. Haha.. Memang akan cari AF lah even I tak la masak sangat. Sometimes rasa bersalah jugak bila dia keep on spend duit on me. Bukan lah on me.. tapi macam beli barang besar2 let say now if I nak phone ke, dia akan belikan. Just say it. Tapi most of the time i takkan ambil kesempatan la minta benda bukan2. Macam I, most of my expenses I spend on things I like, contoh Herbalife ke, periuk ke, benda shopee lah. 

Haritu we go to hospital ambil ubat my father. Dah habis tu, biasalah dia akan beli coffee. Macam i suka pastries and cakes. So dia akan belikan i cake even dia tak makan pun carrot cake. I jot down kat sini sebab nanti bila i marah i harap i tak lupa kebaikan dia ni.

Carrot cake HUKM

He's on his way from kebun da. So I nak kena masakla ni. Sup daging je harini.. Simple dan senang. Makan dengan bubur. 

Hujan lebat berpetir2 sekarang. Okay lah time to cook! Till then 💋

You gotta love yourself woman!

Hi Dear,

I just completed my vaccination yesterday. 2nd dose at PWTC was so smooth. Sekejap sangat dah settle. This time, I memang tengok when the PIC doing the jab, just to make sure that they do it properly coz banyak dah complaint vaksin angin la, tak suntik etc. Im soo not gonna waste my time on having to face semua tu. Nope, didn't take any pics sebab nak avoid risk of contagious infection if I let others hold my phone or vice versa. Digital cert tu cukup dah bukti dah complete dose kan.

Musim durian dekat pilah just started around past 2-3 weeks. Ade lah jual dekat my friend sikit, etc. I tak excited sangat musim durian ni, entahlah. Maybe sebab dari kecik my family pun ada dusun durian. Always spend time sana when there's durian season. Then after married, my husband bought an orchard also.. which more or less the same je lah. And one more sebab durian ni buat I benci. Biasalah perempuan menggedik andartu blaja kolej private jadi doktor kontrak pastu demand nak permanent post pulak akan hint suka durian la etc. Like I care. Semua benda rasa entitle. Kamonla.

I just came across a quote tau.. 'heartbreak doesn't last long, same goes to love'. U know what I mean? Over time, it heals.. tapi u won't forget that u are hurt, cuma somehow hati u dapat terima, and u akan tahu sebenarnya pemilik hati tu cuma satu, Allah. Sedih bila tahu orang yang kita sayang, percaya tu.. hati dia dekat orang lain. If it was easy to just walk away, I would. Tapi banyak sangat hati yang akan terluka. Especially my parents and my kids. So, I know I can to this too. Memaafkan dan move on, melupakan tidak. 

It would be easy if he just let me go macam tu.. dari pujuk I with his every effort. Made me feel macam sometimes I love him, bila ingat balik I jadi benci. Mengamuk2 untuk dia lepaskan je I (ni memang I wajar kena kecam) but then he said that until I found someone yang boleh jaga I better that dia jaga I, he won't lepaskan I. One day if I found the one, then dia akan buat apa yang I nak. Ok bai.

This morning, I feel like boosting my immune system lepas ambil vaksin. Scared last time masa first dose teruk sangat effect dia for a day. Demam, sakit badan etc but this time I takde rasa apa apa pun. So far so good. Cuma husband ada demam dan sakit badan. But taknak mengaku lol.

Guna juicer jelah mix orange + tomato + herbalife collagen + aloe. Biasalah rasa collagen ni tak sedap rasa nak muntah tapi when mix with fresh orange okay jela tutup mata minum. In my early 30s now, so kena la love myself more. Orang lain hati boleh berubah kan.. Dia lupa kot hati I ni pun boleh je berubah.

My breakfast drink. Oh lupa, ada add a tsp of kelulut honey. One of superfood yang I suka. Confirm natural sebab my sis in law bela belakang rumah dia je 😅

Hello breakfast!

Okaylah hopefully boleh cantik lepas ni wakakakakaa...