After So Long

 Salam and morning..

I remember having this personal space, where I really think that this is all mine, no one else outside know this blogspot belongs to whom.. except those IT experts of coz 😅😅😅 provided they want to find who am I lah kan.. but I don't think so since my posts cuma common posts revolve around my life. 

A lot had happened, ada positive, ada negatife.. itulah kehidupan. Long story short, I still have an intact family, a husband with two kids (a girl and a boy) which I always pray that Allah will always showered us with his rahmat and blessings. My career still going on.. with covid 19, Alhamdulillah right at this point, both of us have not been affected, but we always have to be ready should there be any unprecedented situation in the future. My parents Alhamdulillah is healthy, happy and still loving each other everyday.

It's raining outside, I really miss writing. Im too lazy to go outside buying diary book or whatever that I used to do prior years, so here am I.

Im a firm believer that whatever you think or write, somehow akan jadi kenyataan, if not now, mungkin in the future. I have experienced it, so yes memang I percaya. That's why, everyday we have to think positive. For our body, for our mind. And this space will be my affirmation of what I will achieve in the future.

If you were put in a situation which you dont want, i.e its feels like an ujian for you. Sebenarnya Allah nak bagi apa yang you minta. If you tak berada dalam situasi tu, you wont change and you wont get what youve been praying for. Always bersyukur atas segala nikmat dan ujian yang Allah beri. Insyaallah..

2020 is tahun yang sangat menguji I, it reflects back how I see life. Allah uji I dengan benda yang I sayang, which I dont think pun it will happen to me. But it does. All these while, hidup I linear je. Takde ujian yang besar sangat. Mungkin Allah tahu I memang tak mampu nak hadapi ujian yang terlalu besar. Iman pun cuma sangat nipis, mungkin tak sampai pun nipis kulit bawang tu. Hmm.. 

At one point, I down, nangis and everything. I hate myself and I want to ... astaghfirullahalazim. Tapi rupanya I kuat. Ada hikmat sangat semua yang jadi which I nampak sekarang. My relationship with Allah getting better. I know he listens, he understands.. benda yang you nak cakap tapi tak dapat nak sampaikan apa ada dalam hati you. With Allah, even you tak explain, dia tahu. You mengongoi, menangis, dia tahu sebab dia.. So you tak perlu nak explain macam you explain to manusia. Which sometimes they will wrongly interpret what youre explaining.

So, terima kasih 2020. Tahun menguji but at the same time menguatkan diri i. I am loving myself even more in 2021. Alhamdulillah..