Slept around 3am yesterday.. sleepy sangat this morning but my biological clock wakes me up. So I mandi, tak subuh lah sebab still ABC. 😅
Keluar rumah around 9.30am, went to the bank, settle some errands, by 1.30pm Im back home. Lupa nak update my husband on my wherebout. Bukan lupa sangat la, but I know early morning he'll be busy, tambah lagi nak setel handover before balik darat tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, I also don't know what will happen. Will we fight again? Hahahah...
He told me that boat from shore will depart around 6am to their platform, then they will board around 8.00-8.15am. Sampai darat around 10am something lah kan. Honestly, I prefer dia kat laut lagi berbanding dekat darat after 'that' thing happen, but right know I rasa I dah ok sikit, lama dah tak mengungkit. Tapi esok I don't know lah mengenangkan dia dah dekat darat and he got plenty of time dekat sana sebelum flight ke kl on the 4th. I hate to think about it. I hope I okay tomorrow. I pun akan work from office so maybe boleh distract sikitlah.
I know sometimes I feel like we are not in a healthy relationship. I really don't want to force him doing things yang dia tak nak. Actually, after 'that' thing happen, sekarang ni he will always update me his whereabout, together with proof etc, which I tak nak pun sebenarnya if that is not what he wanted to do. But he said he did that for our relationship lah, sebab I jujur je cakap trust I dah tak de, and it will take time to build the trust again. I hope one day dengan all the effort yang husband I buat ni, I akan ikhlas pulangkan the trust that he really deserve. Deep down, I know he's a good man.
Actually dari awal kahwin pun bila jauh, everyday without fail he will text me good morning and good night, and everyday will video call, whatsapp semua etc. We update ape yg kita buat everyday. Bila balik darat, he'll buy me apa2 jelah yang dia boleh capai kat airport tu sometimes.. choc ke, perfume ke.. etc. Ada juga dia belikan I barang macam handbag, SKII, skincare Kiehl ke out of sudden, means bukan time birthday i, even I tak perlukan and tak minta pun. Sometimes dekat office, what happen that day, I'll update him. Sampai sekarang pun. Dulu, I yang selalu malas nak angkat call. Hm.. Sebab banyak kali sangat in a day sampai I tak tahu nak cakap apa. Tipulah kalau I tak nampak yang dia sayang I as his wife sepanjang perkahwinan ni. Dia banyak sangat bersabar dengan all my nonsense.
Sebenarnya, hikmah yang I nampak is, I kena lebih appreciate our family. All these while, husband I je macam tunjuk effort dengan I. Contoh, he'll be the one yang call I, I tak pernah or jarang sangat nak video call dia dulu. Bab lain tu, I rasa tak payah la nak elaborate semua. Basically, before this I mengaku yang I take things for granted. I knew he love me and I selesa je macam tu. Right now, I lebih appreciate him lah, all the small2 things yang I tak nampak sebelum ni. Even when dia ajak I teman dia supper ke, I willing jela bangun nak pergi teman huhu..
Maybe betullah dia cakap just 'kawan'. But I hate that bitch. Bagi I, perempuan baik takkan keluar dengan suami orang. Whatever. *rollseyes* It is not that I tak bagi dia kawan dengan perempuan, but all his girl friends, is my friend but not this particular one. So, yeah. I don't know you, intruders. So I have to eliminate u from our life. I jujur je cakap dengan dia, before I kahwin, ada je suami orang ajak keluar, but I didn't do it despite I tak de keje sangat that day, or feel bored ke ape because I respect his wife. I tak pernah kena maki dengan bini orang masa I anak dara okeh! Perempuan yang keluar dengan laki orang ni without the wife tahu, bagi I is a low class bitch, walau solehah mane pon kau potray diri kau.
Mungkin I yang terlalu manja ke mengada2 ke sebab dari kecik when I merajuk, my dad takkan putus asa pujuk I, sampai I okay. Even dari pagi sampai ke petang pn my dad tak akan putus asa pujuk I. Selalunya merajuk pasal benda-benda yang tak penting pun. Hm... Now, my husband kena put extra effort to pujuk I pulak lah. Siapa suruh buat benda bukan2.
Cukup kot bebel.. Hahahah
This morning I tak de buat juice da. I just minum air kosong je segelas. Skip everything until lunch.
I thought I wanna order je from sushi king ke ape those healthy salad. Instead, I buat mee tomato with tomyum vege gravy. Sounds sedap kan..
Mee tu organic tomato mee yang I beli from my friend. Sebab I malas nak tunggu protein defrost, I just masukkan all the veges je dalam tu.. broccoli + mushroom + celery + carrot + chili. Simple yet fulfilling okay.
I still order sushi king, but for my son la.. then my daughter nak keropok lekor pulak.. ni baru anak dua hahaha..
I rindu je baby but I tak de masa nak jaga. How? I really salute those mommies yang juggle between work and family well. Perempuan ni memang kuat kan. Tapi ade jugak perempuan yang tak kesah pun hancurkan hati perempuan lain. Hahahah.. Sometimes kne faham, kahwin tu pakej dia datang sekali dengan tanggungjawab, nk bimbing keluarga ke syurga. Happy wife, happy life! Rezeki datang pn Allah salurkan ada juga atas rezeki isteri dan anak2 so lelaki jangan la cepat lupa diri bile da banyak duit tak tau nak buat apa. Kalau tak tahu sangat nk buat apa dengan duit tu boleh jela belikan wife biskut tawar ke.. jagung je.. pulut dakap ke.. geddit? Kalau dah banyak beli pon tak pe, beli lagi dan lagi dan lagi.. ish
Pkp extend lagi ya until 18th Feb 😷
Signed out 6.46pm bedroom
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