No more asking why

25.2 2021, 2.30am.. had my menses. No wonder I'm full on nonsense these past few days.

Had nothing since this morning. Patut puasa je kan. I memang nak puasa, but I know, it is almost that time of the month, tak nak jadi macam bulan lepas.. 6.50pm I figure out that I had my menses. Sikit lagi nak buka puasa huhuhu..

After this, I puasa jelah all the way throughout the month.. at least I can shed some weights hehe.. Tak lama dah nak puasa. Less than 45 days. Talked to myself on the mirror, look into my eyes and I think I had enough. Myself should do what she's gotta do. No more living in grief. If that someone really wants her, then he'll make effort for it. Or else. It doesn't matter.

My mantra of losing weight this time is..

"Don't eat nonsense or else u'll look exactly like a fat bitch macam that babi penyondol"

Ok. Make sense. Bagus juga kau gemok. Coz I am not u. And I don't want to be like you, breathe the same air as u, look like u, and I don't want to be everything like u. That's it. I'm not going to the place you go, I'm not using the same brand, even the colour of the car u use, and your nonsense fashion sense. Whatever reminded me of u, I'll detach myself. So, u perempuan gemok, I'm so not gonna be gemok like u.

So far, menjadi ya. Bila I rasa nak makan, or minum air manis I will chant this mantra to myself.

Sounds cruel kan I. U should know why I jadi macam ni. And u know exactly why.

Yesterday, 24th Feb at night, 2nd birthday celebration of my MIL. This time with her friends and relatives. Party started at 8.30pm.. Arrived home around 10.45pm. I do not mingle much sebab masih cuba jaga SOP. So far ok je went as planned.

Today I plan to go buy my daughter's necessities for school, since school will reopen on 1st March 2021. Hopefully the government didn't make a uturn this time. Too tired already.

Today also we have ACM meeting for Q4 2020. I get ready jelah if CFO needs assistance. 

Petang i'll bring the kids for cycling ke ape dekat taman. Tomorrow I'll work from office. That's how dull my life is haha. Oh ya, tak de roadblock dah so cepat je sampai rumah, Tak jemmm otak pikir road block 😒

Xoxo 💗